“If something isn’t useful, it’s useless.”
This was the moment I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that I had been the one to marry up. My husband dropped that gem while we were sitting at the kitchen table one day and I still haven’t recovered.
I was young when my mom told me a quote from Erma Bombeck when she was reflecting on what she would go back and do differently in life:
"I would have burnt the pink candle that was sculptured like a rose before it melted while being stored."
I heard her, registered the truth of it, and still hoarded my shaped candles because they were “special”. I kept them safe…until they eventually broke or melted out of shape.
The lesson started to sink in…but this is a layered process. Oftentimes I don’t even realize that I am saving something as “special” and therefore not using it. I was brought face to face with that truth again this week.
I’m not sure how it began, but my three kids often pick out my earrings now. I don’t know why they like to do it, even my two sons, but they find joy in it and it’s an easy thing to say yes to. The other day I was dressed appropriately for the cleaning day that it was going to be when my middle son asked if he could pick out my earrings for the day. He took his time choosing and when he brought them to me I saw that he had selected a pair of faux diamond drop pendants that I had yet to wear even though I’d owned them for almost two years. You see, I was saving them for a special occasion.
“Mom,” he said, with hand outstretched towards me, “these are beautiful and perfect for you to wear today!”
I opened my mouth to start to disagree and then quickly shut it again. These were not actual diamonds. They were not heirlooms. They were the earrings I bought because they sparkled and because they would go perfectly with that ballgown I hadn't bought yet to attend that imaginary event where a ballgown and dangle earrings were appropriate.
They also didn’t go with my sweats and three-day-unwashed ponytail. But the pause allowed me to realize that none of that mattered. I chose to set aside my Type A classification process for appropriate jewelry conditions and I smiled, complimented his taste, and wore the earrings.
Most of the day I forgot that I was wearing the “special” earrings but when I was polishing a bathroom mirror or catching my reflection while passing through with laundry, I’d see the sparkling dangles and they made me smile.
Now they are my favorite earrings to wear on stay-at-home cleaning days because...why not?
Something shifted mentally and emotionally with the choice to wear those earrings. I didn't expect it. Our things send messages to us - positive or negative - and most of the time we aren't aware of their near-silent whispers. Every time I opened my jewelry cabinet though there was a quiet "today is not an elegant day" that was spoken to my soul when I looked at the beautiful faux-diamond dangles and instead chose a practical silver hoop or stud. But now that the invisible barrier has been broken through, I see those earrings and smile. Any day can now be an elegant day. Those earrings aren't "off limits" to me on a Tuesday morning. There's a freedom in that which I didn't expect.
There are some things that have an accurate "special" classification. My grandmother’s gold necklace that she received for 25 years of work with her company…I’m not going to necessarily wear that to the beach. But even in typing that it causes me to pause and think. If I’m not going to wear the necklace, why do I have it?
So today I let the kids play with the “special” art supplies I had been saving for “just the right time”. I’m wearing a set of gold-plated pendant earrings and a gold bangle because my youngest son insisted that they looked perfect with my drawstring shorts and t-shirt ensemble (complete with, again, an unwashed ponytail). I used up the last of the “special” expensive dark chocolate chips on the kids overnight oatmeal because…why not?
What are you holding on to just because it’s “special”? What if instead of saving special things for “just the right time” we used those things that we perceive to have added value to add value to this day.
Because, why not? It's the only day we're guaranteed after all.
Comments