You cannot care about everything. You just can’t. I’ve tried and I’ve failed. I cannot have the same level of passion about every topic that marketing, manipulations, and mothers think I should. I can’t care about the environment, hyper-organic foods, classical education, politics, worldwide poverty, sex trafficking, covid death rates and policy enforcements, orphans, college football, crime rates, gun control, world wars, clean water in third world countries, clean water in Michigan, micro-plastics in bottled water, illegal immigration, the latest Netflix series….even writing that list made my head explode a little. We cannot care about everything to the highest degree. It is humanly impossible. And yet some of us silently shoulder this supposed burden and give it our all.
Our all can never be enough when the demand is that large.
Some of us try anyway. We run ourselves ragged, not with the actual physical pursuit of solutions to these varied issues, just with the worry and anxiety that builds and builds as we take in all of the information we can about all of these issues and yet remain as helpless to change them as ever.
Some of us quit caring at all. We try to numb ourselves to the problems in this world. Because we can’t fix all of it we don’t try to fix any of it. We focus inwards, on ourselves and our lives, what we can directly influence and control.
Some of us do what we can but we walk around with the heavy weight of guilt because we aren’t doing more. It robs us of the joy and encouragement that comes from doing the little that we can do.
So…why not try half-assing it?
You can’t possibly care about everything, so choose not to. And then choose not to feel guilty about the things that don’t make the cut. If you’re the praying type, ask God to put those other things as a burden on the shoulders of those who can make a difference and help you to see those areas where you can have an effect. Then choose to care about and make a difference in those areas. Even if that difference is as small as offering a cup of cold water to someone who is thirsty.
You may also find that you have to be more selective in what receives your passion and care. Your fantasy football bracket might not make the cut. Whether or not your kids are well versed in Shakespeare’s plays might not have room in your limited capacity for caring. When you decide something isn’t within your scope in this season of life then let it go. Don’t toss it, half-deflated, into the sack of guilt on your shoulders. There’s no need to carry that emotional clutter.
There’s also room to half-ass caring even in those areas that fall within your abilities. We recently had a friend pass away. My heart was gutted and I felt at a complete loss. It was tempting to feel crippled with the weight of their grief plus our grief plus the fear of a similar loss occurring within our own family. The level of caring was incompatible with action. My husband finally looked at me and said, “So what can we do?” Feelings have their place but without the outlet of action they can become paralyzing. So we did what little we could do. We temporarily alleviated some of the burden of mundane life - we dropped off paper plates and toilet paper and bottled water and silent hugs. We didn’t try to share our emotions with them as they were already processing theirs. We turned our emotions into actions. Half-assed actions as they couldn’t fully fix the situation but actions that still had a little impact. And then we chose to let that be enough. Our hearts still grieved with them and for them but even that little bit of action helped with some of the weight of it all.
So if you can do something, do it. If you can’t do something, pray and release it. Half-assed caring is better than an emotional catatonic state.
Lesson learned: I can’t fix everything wrong in this world. I don’t even have the capacity to care about everything that is wrong in this world. But by choosing to care about less I can actually do more to make a difference.
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